Diamond Born
by Shimanishiki
Summary: Lavi wants the one thing they can't have, but when he gets the chance, what will happen? Sequal to Shimmering Scales. KandaxLavi, AllenxLenalee Co-written with sailorstar165
1. You Have a Tail!

Kanda didn't know what made him wake up in the middle of the night. Maybe he'd had a nightmare. Maybe he'd just wanted to give his husband another kiss on their wedding night.**1** Maybe Lavi'd just rolled over and hit him by accident in his sleep like last time.

The reason he woke up wasn't important. There was something else _much_ more important in Kanda's mind.

Something scaly was rubbing up against his leg.

Kanda let out a yelp of surprise and practically fell out of bed. "Lavi!" he hissed. "Lavi!"

The redhead in question opened his eye and looked wearily at him. "What? I was havin' a good dream..."

"Lavi, your legs!"

Lavi pulled back the covers to look at what Kanda was talking about. His legs had turned back into his shimmering green tail. He tilted his head at Kanda. "And?"

"And that sorcerer messed up! You're back to being a merman!"

Lavi yawned sleepily. "He didn't." He concentrated a moment, and the scales vanished, leaving two completely human legs behind. "Go back to bed. I'll tell ya in the morning."

Kanda stared at his husband. This was the first time he'd seen Lavi's tail up close. He'd caught a glimpse of it in a cave a long time ago, but he'd been so out of it he hadn't realized what it was at the time.

He got comfortable next to Lavi again, and just stared at the sheets where his legs and Lavi's legs were right next to each other. "But what if your tail comes back?"

"I'll try not to dream of water again," Lavi muttered before snuggling closer to Kanda. "G'night."

Kanda closed his eyes as well and soon fell asleep with Lavi in his arms.

* * *

When Kanda woke up in the morning, the same scaly thing was rubbing against his legs. Irritated, Kanda pulled back the covers to look at his lover's tail. It shimmered a lot more in the morning light, shimmering every color of the rainbow like the stone around his neck.

The irritation soon vanished and was replaced by curiosity and awe. Kanda gently ran his fingers along Lavi's scales in wonder and amazement. The scales were smooth and cool to the touch.

"Mmmm... Yuu..." A small moan escaped Lavi's lips. "Not now... I'm still sleepy..."

Kanda raised an eyebrow. _What's he dreaming about?_ He rubbed the scales with his entire hand. It felt so strange but so nice against his palm.

"Yuu!" Lavi moaned, his face red.

Kanda withdrew his hand. Lavi stretched, then curled up a little to sleep longer. Confused, Kanda ran his fingers across Lavi's scales again experimentally. Lavi moaned. Kanda smiled evilly and continued stroking Lavi's tail with both hands this time.

"Ahhh~ Yuu!" Lavi sat up suddenly, his face a deep crimson. "Don't do that!"

Kanda smirked. "What? This?" He ran his fingers from where the scales started at Lavi's hips down to about where his knees should have been.

"Yuu!" Lavi's tail flicked, and then became legs again. He crossed his arms and grinned triumphantly. "Now you can't do that anymore."

Kanda did do it again, running his fingers down Lavi's bare leg.

Lavi bit his lip to hold back the moan in his throat. "Yuu, stop it." It was a rather weak complaint. Kanda didn't stop. "Yuu, I'm serious. We need to get up sometime."

"No we don't."

"But I'm hungry."

"I'll order something to be brought up." Kanda ran his finger down Lavi's lower leg and across Lavi's foot.

"I said stop it, Yuu!" Lavi picked up the pillow and hit him with it.

"Wow, even your feet?"

"S-shut up. I'm new to this. I'm still sensitive."

"Really?" Kanda put a hand on Lavi's hip and started tracing Lavi's body with his other.

Lavi turned bright red again, pulled away, and threw on a robe. "I'm going to the patio," he announced. He opened the door and raised an eyebrow at Roger and Toma, Kanda's two guards. They were both blushing furiously.

"W-we weren't listening in!" Toma said.

Roger grabbed Toma's arm. "W-we were just... checking to see if you two were awake and ready for breakfast."

"I am," Lavi said, smiling. He knew they were listening in on them, but unlike Kanda, who was covering himself up with the sheets, he wasn't embarrassed in the least about what they'd just been doing. "See you at breakfast!" he called back to his husband.

Lavi had finished breakfast by the time Kanda came outside, fully dressed. "So what was that last night?" Kanda asked. The nearby maid blushed, thinking it was something dirty and went inside after setting down Kanda's breakfast.

Lavi leaned back in his chair. "Well, I think how it works is if you think hard enough about wanting your fins, you get them. Last night I was dreaming of going back home for a bit, so that's probably why my legs transformed. According to Tyki, you should be able to do it too," he said while grinning, "and you'll be just as sensitive as I am."

"I don't think so." Kanda sipped his tea to hide his blush with the cup.

"Wanna bet?" Lavi looked out at the ocean. "We should try it later and check up on Lenalee and Allen."

"I'm sure they're busy with their own honeymoon."

"Honeymoons are _definitely_ a human concept. We don't go on vacations after we trade apples. We go home, start a family, and life goes on."

"Wow, that's pretty boring."

Lavi smiled and leaned across the table to kiss Kanda. "That's what makes this so much cooler. Come on, the sooner you get used to your tail, the sooner we can go bother Allen and Lenalee." He took Kanda by the arm and tried to pull him down to the beach.

"What if someone sees us?" Kanda growled.

"It's a private beach!"

"Private doesn't mean privacy. Do you know how many people want to catch a glimpse of their king?"

"Tell them they're drunk, then!" Lavi tugged on Kanda's arm again. "Please? I wanna show you _my_ world."

Kanda couldn't say no. "Fine, but _you_ have to explain to everyone if they see."

"No problem!" Lavi led Kanda down to the beach, where he pulled off his robe and went deep into the water. "Cold!" he laughed. He dived below the waves.

"Lavi?" Kanda called when the redhead didn't resurface. "Lavi!"

Lavi broke the surface and shook his head. "Yuu! Hurry up!" He dived back down, showing off his sparkling tail.

Kanda breathed a sigh of relief when he knew Lavi was okay. Then he glanced around to make sure no one was watching and pulled off his own clothing to join Lavi in the ocean. He felt stupid standing in the waves naked.

"Yuu, you have to think about being a merperson! You've gotta feel the waves! Think like a fish!"

"You're not helping."

"If you come here in your merform, I promise we'll spend _all_ night together."

Kanda's eyes widened at the thought. "That's definitely not helping." Now he couldn't think of anything except him and Lavi together in bed doing all sorts of miscellaneous things.

"Yuu... It's not that tough. Think fish!"

Kanda rolled his eyes. "I'm a fish." Nothing happened. "I have... a tail?" _What would I even look like with a—?_ _SPLASH!_ He lost his balance and toppled beneath the waves.

Lavi swam up close and held Kanda under so he couldn't resurface. "Yuu, you're not drowning. Look!"

Kanda opened his eyes, but the realization that he was at least three feet from the surface didn't help. He tried to pull away from Lavi, tried to reach the surface. He was holding his breath and wouldn't last much longer.

Lavi rolled his eye and kissed Kanda hard on the lips. "See? You can breathe," he said once the kiss was broken.

Kanda hadn't realized he'd been breathing during the kiss. "What if I couldn't?" Kanda replied defensively. "I would've drowned!"

"I would've saved ya, Yuu."

"But what if I hadn't changed and I _had_ breathed in all that sea water? I'd be dead! You'd be all alone with a guilty conscience and—" He flinched away from Lavi's hand.

"Sensitive, huh?" Lavi said with an evil grin.**2**

"S-stop it," Kanda said, trying to escape Lavi's stroking hand.

Lavi stroked Kanda's tail again. "You didn't stop this morning." He ran his fingers opposite the scales.

"Shit," Kanda gasped. "L-Lavi, stop. Please. I swear, I'll never touch your tail again."

"But I want you to," Lavi said with a smile. He stopped touching Kanda's tail with his hand and wrapped his arms around Kanda's neck. "You know, you're tail looks like the midnight sky..."**3**

Kanda glanced down. His tail was a dark blue, almost black, with the same shimmering scales as Lavi. He didn't have much time to admire it, though. Lavi had just brushed his tail against Kanda's.

Kanda gasped and buried his face in the crook of Lavi's neck. "L-Lavi, what are you doing?"

Lavi brushed his tail against Kanda's again. "What do you think I'm doing?"

Kanda could only moan in response.

Lavi chuckled and wrapped his tail around Kanda's.

* * *

"That was great!" Lavi said, tying up his robe properly and sitting on the beach. "You should've seen your face, Yuu!"

Kanda glared at his husband, trying to catch his breath. He'd crawled up onto the sand after their little _experience_ and rolled onto his back as soon as he'd gotten his pants back on. "What the hell was that?"

"The real way to Shine."

"Shit," Kanda cursed under his breath. It wasn't that he disliked it, but it had been so strange to do _that_ under the water.

"So? You wanna do it again?"

Kanda's head snapped up. "Hell no."

Lavi smiled, knowing exactly what Kanda was thinking. "Don't worry, there's not really a top or bottom to it if it's underwater. As soon as you figure out how to move your tail right, I'll probably be the one lookin' for somethin' to hold on to." He reached over and pulled yet more seaweed from Kanda's hair. "Was I this outta breath when we did it with the sticks?"

It took Kanda a few minutes to realize what Lavi was talking about. "Yes, you were this out of breath, and stop calling them sticks."

"But I think stick is a better word for it than—"

"Shut up." Kanda turned his head back to the beach house they were staying at. Miranda was walking towards them with the maid-in-training from earlier.

"Your Highness, are you all right?" Miranda asked once they reached the two. "You look a little flushed."

"I'm fine," Kanda said from the sand. He sent an accusing glance at Lavi. "Just a little tired."

"A little?" Lavi repeated with a smirk.

Miranda sighed and turned to the maid-in-training. "I think His Majesty's been in the sun too long. Bring some drinks out to the patio, would you? I'll help His Majesty back to the house."

Once the other maid was gone, Miranda rounded on the two of them. "The beach? Really! That has to be the _worst_ place to do that!"

"We didn't do it on the beach," Lavi said with an innocent smile. "We did it in the water."

"That's even worse!" Miranda shouted at them. "Do you know how many infections you can get and—" She stopped when Lavi made a wave-swimming motion with his hand. "What? But how? I mean... Oh, nevermind. I don't want to know." She helped Kanda up from the sand and led them both back to the beach house.

* * *

The next couple days went pretty much the same as the first. Lavi continued to give Kanda swimming lessons that would always end up with them Shining and Kanda out of breath and Lavi as fresh as a daisy. Kanda would later get his revenge in the bedroom, not that Lavi minded, of course.

Once Lavi was confident enough in Kanda's swimming, he told Miranda not to worry about them for the next day or two.

"And where, pray tell, are you going?" she asked when Lavi told her this.

"Visiting Lenalee and Allen," Lavi replied with a shrug. "Kanda's a good enough swimmer for that. We'll stay with them a couple days and come back."

"What about sharks?" Miranda asked.

Lavi shrugged. "I think we could outrun it. All ya gotta do is find a seaweed bed."

"No. Absolutely not. You both aren't going."

"Who's your boss?"

Miranda blinked. "What?"

"I married Kanda. Kanda's your boss. Doesn't that make me your boss too?"

That left Miranda speechless.

"See you in a couple days!" He waved and went to go find Kanda.

* * *

It didn't take long to reach Atlantica from the island Kanda and Lavi were honeymooning at. Kanda couldn't figure out how Lavi knew which way he was headed, but they made it all the same without any trouble or getting lost.

Kanda was impressed with the castle they were swimming towards. The entire building was made of coral of every color and size. He couldn't believe Lavi had lived there so long, especially after the redhead had been impressed with his castle.

"Hurry up!" Lavi said, swimming a little faster. They'd reached a rather large underwater city at this point, and for once, Lavi was a little embarrassed. A bunch of merpeople waved and said hello, but Lavi swam past without saying a word. A couple people whispered to each other as they passed, making Lavi even more self-conscious. He knew what they were talking about. They were talking about how Lavi had suddenly returned with a mate.

Kanda had trouble keeping up with Lavi. The redhead was a better swimmer and in a rush for some reason. Kanda didn't notice the people whispering around them, or maybe he didn't care. He reached out and took Lavi's hand.

"What?" Lavi asked harshly when he spun around.

"Are you okay? You're acting strange."

"I-it's just..." Lavi glanced around at the people, "these are the people I grew up with... My friends and neighbors... It's... kind of... embarrassing..."

"And you didn't think the cheesecake incident was embarrassing for me?"

"That's different."

"Tell me how it's different."

"Well... Uh... You see..." Lavi couldn't come up with anything except that _he_ hadn't known any of those people. "Let's just go!"

"You can either explain or kiss me," Kanda said seriously.

Lavi swallowed hard. He swam closer to Kanda and for a quick peck, but Kanda pulled him closer and deepened the kiss. Lavi would've forgotten that they were being watched except for one thing: the crowd around them burst into cheers and applause.

Now thoroughly embarrassed, Lavi grabbed Kanda's arm and swam off as fast as he could toward the castle. By the time they reached there, Lavi was panting while Kanda tugged him along, since he hadn't had to swim most of the way.

"Lavi, do you need me to carry you?" Kanda asked when Lavi started drifting behind again.

"I'm fine," Lavi replied, flicking his tail to keep up.

The guards at the castle weren't much better than the townsfolk. As soon as they saw Lavi being pulled along by another Shimmer, they jumped to the same correct conclusion as the people in the city and knowingly smiled as they swam inside.

"I hate this place, I hate this place, I hate this place," Lavi kept repeating to himself over and over again as they swam through the hallways of the castle.

"Then why did you suggest coming?" Kanda asked, still helping Lavi along.

"I wanted to see Allen and Lenalee again," Lavi muttered. "Everything else I could do without."

They reached the throne room, where Lavi knew his father would be. He had to introduce Kanda to Cross eventually, even if he didn't want to. It wasn't like he could just stop speaking to his father, after all.

"Lavi! Where have you been?" Cross shouted, but stopped when he saw Kanda. He drew his gun just as Kanda drew his sword. Cross raised an eyebrow. "I like this guy. Who the hell are you?"

"Um... Father?" Lavi shifted protectively in front of Kanda. "He's... my mate."

Cross cocked his gun. "Really now?" he growled. "And when did this happen?"

"Um... about three weeks ago?" Lavi squeezed Kanda's hand for comfort. Kanda squeezed back.

"Father, stop it!" Allen swam out of another corridor. His face was a little flushed and he seemed to be a little too out of breath for just swimming from some room in the castle.

Cross rounded on Allen. "Why should I?"

Lavi interrupted the budding argument with, "Where's Lenalee?"

Allen blushed even more. "She's... uh... situating the... er... eggs..."

Lavi zipped past Allen just as Cross said, "Finally? I always wanted grandkids. Too bad my one son was a Shimmer, or else I'd already have them."

"Will you stop ragging on him?" Kanda shouted. "His mother loved him the way he was, didn't she? Why do you have to keep being a jerk to him?!"

Cross sighed and set down his gun. "Yes... Maria did love him, and that's why she and Suman died."

_Now I can see why Lavi's never forgiven himself for it,_ Kanda thought angrily. _His father never let him._ "You should forgive him for that already. It was his mother's _choice_ to save Lavi, and I seem to recall that you saved him too."

Cross frowned. "I just killed the beast that killed my wife and heir," he growled, but Kanda could see a small pearl on the edge of his eye.

"If you didn't care about Lavi, why'd you send Tyki to find him and Allen?"

"Allen's my only heir. If he were to die, then this kingdom would be in trouble. I figured those two were together, since Lavi's such a useless son."

Kanda glared coldly. "No wonder Lavi's so miserable. You won't let him forget that _he_ was responsible for his mother and brother's deaths."

Cross flinched at the words. Empowered by the reaction, Kanda continued. "Where were you? Why didn't you save your mate and sons?"

"I was here... drunk..." Cross muttered.

"Then it's just as much your fault as it is Lavi's!" Kanda shouted. "You could've been there, but you decided to stay here and get drunk! If you'd been there, you could have saved them!"

Allen shook his head. "Kanda, you don't seem to realize... If Father doesn't drink, he becomes drunk... He was trying to stop drinking, and... well... it's pretty obvious what happened because of it."

"He shouldn't have started to drink, then," Kanda growled.

"Kanda, just stop it. You've gone far enough. We've lived long enough to know that if Father doesn't want to change, he won't."

Cross closed his eyes and sighed. "I don't need my own son defending me."

"Fine," Allen snapped at his Father. "There are twenty people outside the gate wanting to yell at you about what you do in your spare time. Why don't you go say hi to them once in a while?"

"I think I'll go see my grandkids now," Cross said, getting up.

"You're dodging the subject again."

"I don't care."

Allen sighed and watched his father go down the corridor. Then he turned and nodded to Timcanpy the blowfish who'd been floating above his head. Tim grinned and slurped up Cross's ray gun. They'd been unarming Cross this way for months.

"Should I ask why that's eating that gun?" Kanda asked, eyeing the blowfish.

"You'll thank me later," Allen replied.

Timcanpy nodded, then hiccuped. He blew up to the size of a balloon, then slowly deflated before hiccuping again and repeating the cycle.

Both mermen stared at Timcanpy. "Wow, I didn't you could get hiccups, Tim," Allen commented. Timcanpy nodded, then blew up again. "If its wasn't so funny, it'd be really annoying."

"Hey, is that a cat over there?" Kanda asked blankly.

Timcanpy blew up three times his size (bigger than his hiccups made him) and stared around wildly for the threat. When he didn't see the cat, he slowly deflated, still wary.

"That was mean," Allen whispered to Kanda. Timcanpy tried to snuggle close to Allen for protection, which didn't work too well since he was still a little inflated. "Ack! Tim, stop! You're not a fluffball anymore!"

Kanda laughed. "It got rid of his hiccups, didn't it?"

Allen and Tim stared at each other a moment. When the golden blowfish didn't inflate from hiccuping again, Allen breathed a sigh of relief. "All right, Tim, there's one more gun left. Go get it." Timcanpy nodded and swam away. Allen then turned to Kanda. "Well? Shall we?"

Allen led Kanda through yet another maze of hallways to the nursery. Lenalee and Lavi were sitting together on what almost resembled a nest made of seaweed. Lenalee was holding two blue-green eggs in her lap and Lavi was looking at them with all the admiration in the world. Cross was nowhere to be seen.

Lenalee smiled sweetly at Allen, but her attention soon returned to her eggs. "Allen? Did you—?"

"Yes, I told him," Allen replied before she could finish.

"And did you—?"

"Tim's getting the last one now."

"Thank you Allen. I love you."

Kanda and Lavi hadn't heard the exchange, though for different reasons. Lavi was too busy wistfully looking at the eggs still, while Kanda was looking at Lenalee.

"Lenalee, where are your clothes?" he asked, still staring at her breasts.

"It would be weird for me to wear anything," Lenalee replied simply. "It's actually quite nice not to wear a corset."

"B-but you're... _naked_."

"So are you when you think about it," Lenalee replied.

Kanda looked down at himself. "I'm a guy. That's different."

"Sexist."

Kanda was about to reply, but a maid came in with a plate of food for Lenalee. She, like Lenalee, wasn't wearing anything either, leaving Kanda speechless.

Allen leaned close to Kanda's ear. "Mermaids don't wear clothes. We're a little more open about things here under the sea."

"I can see that."

The maid bowed before leaving, but she paused in the doorway and bowed again when Cross came in. The king came closer, hands held out like he wanted to hold one. Lenalee's response was to hold her eggs closer to her body. Cross stopped when he realized Lenalee wasn't going to let him touch the eggs and coughed in minor embarrassment.

"So... how many?" he asked once his initial embarrassment wore off.

"Two," Lenalee replied with a big, proud smile.

"_Only_ two?"

"Hey, humans only have one kid at a time!" Lenalee pointed out.

"And how do you know that?"

"Because—"

Allen interrupted Lenalee. "Um, Father, I need to talk to you out in the hall." He grabbed his father by the arm and dragged him out.

The other three sat in the nursery, trying to catch what little drifted through the curtain separating the room from the hall. They only caught one: "WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"

"F-Father, calm down!" they heard Allen say. "Y-you kept saying you wanted grandkids and—"

"I _meant_ with a nice mermaid, not a _human_!"

"But Lenalee is a nice mermaid! You said so yourself!"

"That was before I knew she was a human! That's probably why she only has two eggs!"

The shouting died down, and Lenalee took the chance to ask Lavi, "How many eggs is normal?"

Lavi blinked. He'd been completely fixated on the eggs and hadn't heard the shouting match outside. "Um... Three to five, usually, but first litters can be two sometimes."

"Then why is he making such a fuss about it?"

Lavi shrugged. "Because you're human?"

Kanda could tell there was more to it. He'd gotten good at telling when Lavi was keeping something. "What aren't you telling us, Lavi?"

The redhead glared at Kanda. "It's... none of your business. It doesn't matter anyway."

"Lavi..."

"Our mother had trouble having eggs, okay?" Lavi said. "She had me and Suman the first time, and then her second litter she had three eggs and none of them hatched. Her third litter she had three again and only Allen barely survived. The others didn't hatch."

"That's horrible," Lenalee whispered. "So he thinks I'm the same?"

"Probably. Father jumps to conclusions all the time."

The shouts in the hall started up again. "BUT SHE'S HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"So? Lavi married a human!"

Lavi slapped his forehead. "Oh, thanks for passing the shark, Allen," he muttered.

Cross burst into the room. "What's this about you marrying a human?!"

Lenalee glared at her father-in-law. "No shouting in the nursery. If you want to yell at each other, go somewhere else."

"Throne room," Cross growled, "_now._"

Lavi took Kanda's hand just to spite his father. "We'll be there in a few."

"_Now_!" Cross turned and left.

Lavi shuddered. "I'm dead. He's gonna kill me."

Kanda squeezed Lavi's hand reassuringly and they swam to the throne room with Allen. Cross was there, tearing the room apart. "WHERE ARE MY GUNS?!"

"So that's why you had Tim eat them," Kanda whispered to Allen.

"Yeah," Allen said with a quick nod.

Cross rounded on the three mermen. "Why humans? Why did you _mate_ with humans?"

"Because we love them," Lavi managed to say quietly.

"They eat fish!" Cross shouted.

"_We_ eat fish," Allen said.

"If they catch you, they'll sell you or rape you or—"

It clicked in Kanda's mind. "Someone you knew was caught by humans."

Cross stopped mid-rant. "My best friend. He was stupid enough to go up to look at a boat. He got caught in one of their nets. I've never seen him since."

"So that's where the story came from," Kanda muttered.

"What story?" Lavi turned to Kanda.

"My... father... came across a merman before he met my mom. He told the merman that if he found him a wife, he'd set him free. My father found a wife, and I never heard what happened to the merman."

"It because you humans are murderers!" Cross shouted. "You probably killed him and ate him!"

"_I _wasn't born yet," Kanda replied. "Who knows, maybe a shark got your friend when he was trying to get back here. My father said he had pretty scales."

Cross sighed and sat in his throne, his anger spent. "That stupid tail of his always got him into trouble," he said at last. He sat, silent again, as if thinking. Then he knocked over his seat and retrieved a hammer.

"Damn it, I missed one," Allen muttered. He backed away from his father and his hammer. "Don't do something stupid..."

"It's not stupid, it's punishment." Cross inspected the hammer from every angle. He then looked at Kanda.

Lavi darted in front of Kanda. "Father, stop. Just because you're homophobic—"

"What's homophobic?" Cross asked.

"I-it means you're against Shimmers," Allen explained quickly.

Cross dropped his hammer. "How can I be against Shimmers if my own son is one?" He looked down when he heard a burp and saw Timcanpy had eaten his gun. "_You_. _You're_ the one!" Timcanpy grinned up at him before darting over to Allen. "You get back here!" Tim shook his head. "_I'm_ your master! Get back here!" Again, Tim shook his head. "When did you start listening to him instead of me?"

Cross's assistant cleared his throat behind Cross. "What do you want?" he growled dangerously.

"Some people want to hear about whether Allen's wife has had children yet..." the assistant said.

"Tell them they haven't Shined yet."

Kanda glanced sideways at Allen. The white-haired merman shook his head slightly.

"I don't think that's the best idea, sire," the assistant said.

"Then tell them she's had five eggs! We'll say a few didn't hatch. That's normal."

Again, Allen shook his head.

"No... That's not a good idea. We should tell them she's given birth, but not give a number." He glanced quickly at Allen, who gave a small nod.

"Fine." Cross turned back to Lavi and Kanda. "I'll speak to you two later when I get my stuff back." He glared at Timcanpy, before swimming away into his private chambers.

The assistant bowed low to Allen, then turned to Lavi and Kanda. "We've prepared your room, Master Lavi."

"Wait a minute," Kanda said, "what was that whole exchange between you and Allen?"

The assistant smoothed his hair. "I don't know what you're talking about, sir. Please, follow me."

They followed the assistant to Lavi's room. Once they got there, the assistant moved aside for them to enter. "King Walk—" he coughed, catching his mistake. "Master Allen said you would like to stay in the same room." He bowed quickly to Lavi, not quite as deeply as he had to Allen, and left.

"What's going on here?" Kanda asked when they went into the room.

"Allen's... been running the kingdom for a while, but I'm not quite sure how long. I caught on a couple years ago." Lavi flopped onto his old bed and sighed happily. "It's nice to be home..."

"I thought you hated it here."

"Yeah, but my bed still smells like me." Lavi rolled around on it a bit. "And they didn't move any of my stuff."

Kanda lay down beside Lavi. He swept his tail across Lavi's, making the other Shimmer shiver.

"Yuu, not now."

"It was an accident."

"Yeah, as accidental as it ever is."

Kanda smiled and kissed Lavi's forehead. "Take a nap. You look like hell."

Lavi snuggled against Kanda's chest. "Thanks. I love you too."

* * *

Cross was sitting in his chambers, talking to his assistant. "We'll have to alert the kingdom that Lavi's found a mate," he muttered.

"Already taken care of," the assistant replied.

"Then we have to get things in order for when Lenalee's eggs hatch."

"Already taken care of."

"By who?"

"By your son."

Cross shrugged. "Okay, we need to set up a celebration for their hatching."

"Already taken care of."

"Who keeps taking care of all these things?!"

"King Walker." The assistant slapped a hand over his mouth. "I mean... your son."

"_King_? _King_ Walker?" Cross growled. He'd remembered Allen mentioning that last name once or twice as an idea. "When did _he_ become king?"

"Six years ago, if my count is right... He's been making decisions for you ever since."

"What? Impossible! That Stimulus Package was my idea!"

"King Walker suggested that to you."

"Damn..." Cross cast around his mind. "He did... What about that Sea Cucumber act? I was against it the whole time!"

"You're the one who suggested it, sir..."

"But I decided that it was a stupid idea and didn't pass it!"

"King Walker convinced you not to..."

"What about the decision with Lenalee's eggs?"

"Um... I was watching him," the assistant admitted. "If he shook his head to something, I'd suggest something else that he agreed with."

"He can't have been controlling everything!"

"Didn't you notice that the economy tanked when Allen disappeared?"

Cross sighed. His assistant was right, of course. "I should just retire then, shouldn't I?"

"I would talk to King Walker first," the assistant.

"Damn it! I'm still king! Don't address my son as king until I retire!"

"Yes, sire."

* * *

**1 **_**Pretty obvious what they were doing earlier...**_

**2 **_**(rubs hands together with an evil laugh)**_

**3**_ Can you see Kanda in a tail? _**Yes, and he's very smexy.**_ Hellz yeah._

_(yawn)_

**It's early in the morning, but we finished it. :)**

_The first chapter... I think this story's going to be at least nine chapters. Maybe more._

Well, whatever it is, we'll keep writing it. Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed it!

_It's too early for this..._

**See you next time!**

_Good night... I meant morning... Bye._

****

Omake Theater I: Cross's Treasure Hunt

Cross forced Timcanpy's mouth open and shoved his hand into the small blowfish's other dimension. He felt around for anything, then pulled something scaly out. "What the hell's this?"

"That's a lizard," Allen said, watching with amusement as Cross looked.

"A what now?"

"A sea serpent with legs that lives on land."

"Ew." Cross tossed the shriveled creature away and returned to his search. He found something smooth and pulled out a red, hard thing. "This?"

"An apple."

Cross looked at the thing again. "This is so not an apple."

"That's what humans call them. Our apples are called sparkly rocks."

Cross tossed the fruit over his shoulder, but paused in his search to watch it float to the ceiling. "I'll get that down later." He said before turning back to Timcanpy. He dug around again, and found a small green gemstone. "Oooo... Pretty color." He glanced around, set it on his throne, and returned to his search.

This time, he found the mer-to-human dictionary. Allen stared at it a moment. "So that's where it went," he said.

Cross opened it up, read through a few definitions, and then said, "What's sex?" He shrugged and set the book down next to the emerald to look at later.

He found his hammer, but he never did find his guns.

* * *


	2. Wish

"We'll be going now," Lavi said, smiling at his brother.

"It was good seeing you again." Allen hugged Lavi. "Make sure to come back when the eggs hatch, k?"  
"Wouldn't miss it for the world!" Lavi took Kanda's hand and was about to swim off when Cross came into the entrance hall. "Father? What—?"

"Can't I wish my soon farewell?" the king said sarcastically. He patted Lavi on the head. "Be safe on your way back to wherever it is you're staying."

"Yuu's got his sword. We'll be fine."

Cross sighed, and Lavi knew there was something else he wanted to say. "Lavi... I'm sorry..."

Lavi's eyes widened and his jaw dropped even as Cross walked away. "He... Did he apologize?" He turned to Kanda, who shrugged.

"We should get going."

"Right." Lavi waved to Allen and Lenalee before letting Kanda pull him along behind him.

The two swam out of town and into the underwater hills surrounding the kingdom. They were well on their way before Kanda realized Lavi was lagging a little behind in a daze.

"What's wrong?" Kanda finally asked when it seemed this was more than just missing his family again.

"Yuu... I want kids."

Kanda raised an eyebrow. "No problem. We'll adopt."

Lavi stopped swimming and floated in place. "What's adoption?"

"It's when you take in children that don't have parents as your own," Kanda explained. "You don't have that?"

"Children... don't usually live without their parents... If they can, they wouldn't need to be adopted." Lavi smiled sadly. "No... I want us to have our own..."

"Lavi, don't be stupid. We're both _men_. It's not like you can get pregnant or something." Still, Kanda could tell Lavi still wanted what they couldn't have. In the end, he sighed and said, "Should we go see Tyki?"

"Think he could do it?"

"The guy's a nut job sorcerer. I'm sure he can manage it."

Lavi's eyes lit up and he pulled Kanda's arm. "Come on! Hurry! Hurry!"

Kanda rolled his eyes and let Lavi drag him to the cave where Tyki dwelled.

* * *

"It can't be done."

"What do you mean 'it can't be done'?" Kanda asked Tyki.

"It's never been done before, thus it can't be done." Tyki turned back to his bookcase.

"But you were able to make me and Allen humans," Lavi reminded him. "You can do _anything_. You're the best magician to ever live."

"Lavi, what are you doing?" Kanda hissed.

Lavi shushed him. "Lemme handle this," he whispered to Kanda before going back to stroking Tyki's ego. "You bred glowing butterfly fish that look like butterflies. If you can do this, you'd be unmatched. You'd be better than the sorcerers of old who couldn't manage it. Just think of it! All those Shimmers who want children but couldn't would love you for it! You could have your own holiday! Or... maybe even a parade in your honor."

Tyki didn't turn around. "I am that good, aren't I?"

"If you do this, you'd be spectacular. You'd be the most famous merman in existence! People will even name their children after you!"

"I'll do it!" Tyki said, spinning to face them. "I'll try to—no—I _will_ do it!" He shook Kanda's hand. "I'll do it for Roger," he added.

"You already shook," Kanda said bluntly.

"Oh, don't be mean. I think a little gift from us isn't too much. I think his expertise is well worth Roger." Lavi smiled at Tyki.

"Three days," Tyki said, still basking in Lavi's praise. "I'll bring them to your castle in three days."

"We'll be waiting," Kanda replied.

* * *

Three days passed, and Lavi marked his page for the fifth time that morning and ambled to the window of the study. He looked out at the road, sighed when no one was on their way to the castle, and went back to his book. Five minutes passed, and Lavi got up again to check the window. Again, he saw no one, so he flopped back down in his overstuffed armchair and returned to his futile attempt at reading.

"Checking every five minutes won't make him come faster," Kanda said, not looking up from his newspaper.

"How do you know?" Lavi asked, at last putting down his book for good.

"He said three days. This is the third day. He'll be here sometime, just not at nine o'clock in the morning."

Lavi pouted and went back to the window. "I'm just impatient is all. Why can't he hurry up?"

"Lavi, patience is a virtue. Learn it."

"I don't wanna!"

Kanda rolled his eyes and continued reading. The editorial was full of both well wishes for him and Lavi and doomsday rants for the kingdom because there wouldn't be an heir to the throne. He hadn't told Lavi about any of the bad things being said, of course. Kanda didn't think Lavi needed to hear them.

"He's here!" Lavi shouted, leaning out the window and pointing at the lone figure walking up the road toward the castle.

"Lavi! Careful!" Kanda grabbed Lavi around the middle and kept him from falling out and into the rose garden two stories below. "Do you _want_ to kill yourself?"

"I heal fast," Lavi replied, pulling out of Kanda's grip and then running down the stairs, taking them three at a time as he went. He reached the entryway just as the maids were asking to take Tyki's cloak.

"Did it work?" the redhead asked excitedly. "Did it?"

"I want Roger," Tyki growled. "NOW!"

Lavi blinked. "But did it work?"

"Yes it did, Poseidon damn it!" Tyki shoved a glass jar with two green blue eggs into Lavi's hands. "Keep them in salt water and be careful not to break them. I've already had accidents with three of them."

Lavi nodded. "Thank you, Tyki," he said, his bright smile on his face. "I'll send for Roger right away." He signaled to the maid trying to take Tyki's cloak.

The maid nodded quickly and went to find the guard in question.

"Was it hard?" Lavi asked. "To make these, I mean."

Tyki rolled his eyes. "It's never been done before. I was working without _any_ idea of where to go with it." He pulled a cigarette from his pocket and lit up. "Anyway, you should go mess with those. Fill a tub with salt water and change it regularly, got it? And make sure to keep them warm."

Again, Lavi nodded. He felt a hand on his shoulder and grinned up at Kanda. "See? He came through for us!"

Kanda shrugged. "Wasn't worried." He turned. "Come on."

Lavi hugged the jar with the two eggs closer to him and followed after Kanda.

* * *

**OMG. No notes. O.o**

_OMGWTFBBQ! I'm thinking chicken!_

**...Leave a review! Thank you!**

* * *

**Omake Theater II: Tyki's Mistakes**

Tyki stared at the cauldron, completely at a loss. What went into an egg, anyway? "Best way to find out is trial and error," he said to the butterfly fish on his shoulder. "A little of this, a little of that, some candy..."

There was a huge explosion. Tyki coughed and swam out of his cave. "Damn it! I killed my butterfly!" he cried, holding the fish in his hands. Then it twitched. "Oh, your alive." He tossed it over his shoulder, back into the cave. "Note to self, no candy..."

He tried a few more combinations, each one adding another _note to self_. After his latest attempt—a pineapple—Tyki felt all hope was lost. As a last stab at the correct ingredients, he tossed in salt, phosphorous, and a bunch of other ingredients that seemed to have had a positive effect earlier, and then finally added a scale.

The cauldron bubbled, and Tyki dived for cover from another explosion. When it didn't happen, he peeked into the cauldron and cheered, "Success! I am God!" for there were two eggs inside. "...Crap, now what did I put in it..."

* * *

**Wow... That was a short chapter.**

**_...IT'S SHORTER THAN ED!!!!!!_**

_FMA joke. Long story._


	3. Father

"...I am never doing that again," Kanda grumbled as he splashed out of the water and pulled himself up on the side of the salt water pool. He shuddered at the thought of what he'd done with Lavi in order to fertilize the eggs.**1**

Lavi started arranging the two eggs. "It wasn't that bad. It's just like all the other times."

"Yeah? Well all the other times we didn't—"

A knock at the door interrupted Kanda's shouts.**2** "Your Majesty?" came Miranda's voice. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but... um... you've been in the pool a while and Krory's having a heart attack." There was a brief pause, then, "Did everything go well?"

Kanda sighed. There were only four people in the castle who knew their secret, Miranda and Krory being two of them. The other two were Roger and Toma, who were now peeking around the slightly opened door with idiotic grins on their faces. Kanda glared at the two, which soon became three when Tyki also poked his head in.

"Did it work?" Tyki asked.

"Of course it did! What did you expect?"

"An explosion?" Tyki replied. "I-I mean—"

"You thought it would explode?" Kanda's voice was so even and calm that it was scary.

"Um... There... was a possibility?" There was only one person that frightened Tyki, and that was Kanda.

"Moron!" Kanda shouted. "Are you trying to say there was a possibility of my—" A cry of shock stopped his rampage before it even started. He fell back into the pool with a giant splash.

Lavi waved the hand he'd used to stroke Kanda's tail above the water to show they were both okay and that he was responsible for Kanda's—_ahem_—rather unmanly sound.

"I told you not to do that when people are around," Kanda grumbled when Lavi submerged himself again.

"You do it to me all the time." Lavi stuck his tongue out at Kanda, then swam back to the eggs. "Anyway, you go do whatever it is they need you to do. I'll stay here with the kids."

"You'll be okay by yourself?" Kanda said doubtfully. Lavi hated being alone for any period of time.

"I got the kids with me. We'll be fine."

Kanda raised an eyebrow. He wasn't sure why Lavi was referring to himself and the eggs, but who was he to judge? Maybe merpeople were just weird that way. "Then I'll just go," he said awkwardly. He kissed Lavi on the lips and then climbed out of the pool again.

* * *

"Lavi, you have to eat!" Kanda shouted.

"But I don't want to leave them," Lavi muttered, hugging the eggs closer to him. "Can't you just bring food down here?"

"It'll get wet."

"I'm used to wet food."

Kanda slapped his forehead. "You're losing weight. That's not healthy."

"It's normal for a mother to lose some weight with their first litter," Lavi pointed out.

"When did _you_ become a mother?"

"Oh, sorry, did you have your heart set on being the mom? If you want me to be the dad, that's fine." Lavi was completely oblivious to the real issue.

"No!" Kanda snapped.

"Then like I said, the mother always loses weight," Lavi said cheerfully.

"I'm sure Lenalee hasn't lost weight."

"I bet she's losing more weight than I am."

Kanda growled in aggravation. They'd had this conversation for every day since they'd gotten hold of the eggs, and it always ended with Lavi winning the argument. This time, Kanda was determined not to lose. "_I_ will stay and watch the eggs. _You_ go eat and get some sunlight!"

"But—"

"No buts, Lavi." Kanda pulled the eggs out of Lavi's reach and held them tight. "You need surface-world time."

Lavi pouted, but did as Kanda said. He climbed out of the pool and wobbled over to the changing room. Once the door was shut, Kanda settled into a more comfortable position with the eggs.

"God, this is boring," he grumbled. "How does Lavi put up with this?" He yawned loudly and closed his eyes.

That's when the eggs in his lap twitched. Kanda's eyes shot open and he bolted upright. The eggs continued twitching and swishing sounds were coming from inside. Kanda touched the shell of the one and felt something bump against the inside. "Holy shit..." He shook his head. "I really shouldn't be cussing around you, should I?" he said, addressing the eggs.

When he realized he was talking to the eggs, he slapped his forehead. "Oh God, I'm turning into Lavi..." He glanced around him quickly to make sure no one was around, then hugged the eggs. His lips curved into a smile. He knew his kids were cuddling against him within the shells too. It was finally setting in that he was going to be a father. Unlike _his_ father, who'd just watched from the sidelines as his mother took care of him, Kanda was going to be there every step of the way, come hell or high water.

Before Kanda knew it, Lavi slipped back into the water and hugged Kanda from behind. "Enjoying your time with the kids?" the redhead asked smugly.

Kanda stiffened. "They... seemed cold," he muttered lamely. "I just wanted to warm the kids up a bit."

Lavi caught the sudden change, but didn't say anything. He was just happy Kanda was finally referring to their kids as such and not as _eggs_. "Want to stay with us a little longer?"

Kanda blushed. "If you wouldn't mind..."

Lavi sat next to Kanda and moved one of the eggs to his lap. The redhead yawned and leaned against his husband's shoulder. "You know, it's exhausting to clean up after you and your messes."

"What mess?"

"The kids' rooms!" Lavi rolled his eyes. "How could you think that blue and green would look good?"

"It's blue and green," Kanda said with a sigh. "You said yourself you wanted the rooms to be blue and green."

"Yeah, but have you _seen_ those shades?"

"They're blue and green."

Lavi ruffled his hair in irritation. "There are different shades of blue and different shades of green! There's robin's egg blue, sky blue, pastel blue, ocean blue," he pointed at Kanda's tail, "your tail's blue."

"What's wrong with my tail?" Kanda asked.

"Sorry, honey, but your tail isn't a good color for a room." Lavi smiled, then frowned. "And don't me started on that green!"

"Please don't get started."

Lavi ignored the smart-ass comment from his husband. "You picked olive! _Olive_! That's a terrible color!"

"Does this have to do with your hate of olives?"

"Yeah—I mean—that's beside the point!" Lavi laughed quietly to himself. "Anyway, I told them to use powder blue for the one room and forest green for the other."

The egg in Kanda's arms twitched again. This time, though, it felt like the child inside was bashing the shell full-force. Kanda looked down at the egg. "Lavi?"

"Yeah?"

"Should the egg be moving this much?"

Lavi tilted his head. "Don't worry. The kids won't hatch for another two weeks at least."

The egg shook again, a little more violently. "Are you sure?" Kanda asked. "This one feels like it's trying to get out now."

A thin crack appeared where the strong bashing was occurring. "Shit! Lavi!"

Lavi was having similar problems with the egg in his lap. The redhead set the egg down and watched it, his eye wide. "This shouldn't be happening," he whispered. His face was ashen and a pearly tear was forming in the corner of his eye.

Kanda's head shot above the surface. "Roger!" he shouted.

The guard looked up from his newspaper—he was sitting in a chair by the pool. "What?" he asked, oblivious to the problems going on below.

"Get Tyki! The eggs are in trouble!"

Roger jumped out of his chair and searched his pockets. He pulled out a clamshell and flipped it open. "Tyki!" he shouted into the shell. He waited a few seconds, then said, "No time for pleasantries, bud. The eggs are in trouble!" Another pause. "Um... what exactly's wrong with them?" he asked.

"I think," Kanda swallowed the lump forming in his throat, "I think they're hatching..."

* * *

**1 **_**(shudder)**_**We actually thought it through, but decided not to put it in. **_It's too horrible! (covers eyes)_

**2** _Hee hee (devil horns)_** Now, now, you all know we don't go into extreme detail.**

**CLIFFY!!!!!!! ...I blame Shim for that. XD**

_Guilty. :)_

**Anywho, tell us what you think.**

_We're already working on the next chapter, so don't get mad at me._

**Omake Theater III: Angel's First Sin**

Michael (the angel from Shimmering Scales) tugged on his red leather vest to straighten it.

"Already turning neat and angel-like?" Lucifer asked smugly.

Michael gave him the one-fingered solute. "Just nervous. I've never done this before."

"It's easy!" Lucifer said. "I taught you all night!"

"You taught me more than that," Michael replied, blushing.

Lucifer smirked. "Just go and do your job. You'll be fine. All you gotta do is plant the seeds. Give the guy an idea. _Encourage_ him. He'll act eventually. This guy has a soft brain."

Michael flew down to their target, a man in his late twenties, possibly early thirties, and perched on his shoulder. "You know you want to," he said suggestively. Unlike Kanda, Lucifer's last victim, this guy couldn't hear them. They were just a subconscious thing right now. Later, when the angels started challenging them, they'd be talking to him directly. "You know you want to fuck her senseless. She's just waiting for you. Think about it. She's looking at you with those bedroom eyes—"

"What bedroom eyes?" Lucifer called, laughing. "She's not even looking at him!"

"Shh!" the former angel hissed. "I'm winning this guy over! Just look at him!" The other devil silenced, he turned back to their target. "Just remember, the bed's a fun place to be." And with that, they both poofed away.


	4. Hatchlings

Tyki arrived long after the trouble was over. The eggs had hatched just fine, and now Lavi was babying his three children. Much to their surprise, the one egg had hatched two twin boys and a girl, or that's what Lavi said. Kanda really couldn't tell what sex they were. He couldn't tell what _species_ they were, even. Lavi swore the three were merpeople, but Kanda had trouble swallowing that story. They looked more like human-like fish than merpeople.

"Well, nothing seems wrong," Tyki commented from the side of the pool. "They seem the picture of health, in fact."

Kanda glared. His head was just above the water so they could hear each other. "They're two weeks early."

"They're mer-made eggs, Sir Kanda," Tyki pointed out. "They probably would have hatched in the proper two weeks, except Lavi was babying them too much. Besides, the pools warm, right? They probably responded to the higher temperature and constant heat."

Kanda's eyes narrowed to slits. "They don't look human."

"Duh!" Tyki said, visibly holding back a laugh. "They're ­_mer_pups. They _look_ like merpups. They're just fine."

Something tugged Kanda's hand. Kanda looked down at his "daughter," who was looking up at him with large dark blue eyes—the only thing remotely human about her. The rest of her was covered in hard, pale pink scales. "Then why don't they look like—"

"Merpups don't look human until they shed their baby scales," Tyki said, knowing the question before Kanda even finished. "They look like merpeople _used_ to look before we started looking more human. They're sort of the missing link between merpeople and fish." Tyki leaned over to get a better look at Kanda's daughter. "You know, she'll be quite a beauty when she gets older... She looks well-proportioned."

Kanda would have reacted to Tyki's comment, but his daughter sunk her sharp teeth into his hand. Kanda cursed, then dived back under water to pry her teeth off his hand.

"Yuu, what did I tell you about swearing in front of the children?" Lavi scolded.

"About ten times," Kanda said, still trying to get his daughter to stop chewing on his hand. Once his hand was freed, the girl bit his other. "Why does she keep biting me?"

Lavi tilted his head in amusement. The two twins were all over him, chewing on either arm. "They're just hungry. Once Miranda gets here with the fish, they'll stop biting us for a while."

"A while?" Kanda repeated.

"Well, they have to use _something_ while they teethe."

Kanda twitched. "They already _have_ teeth," he growled.

"They have to lose the sharp ones so they can start eating their veggies," Lavi replied brightly. "They're carnivorous until then."

"Only you can say stuff like that with a smile on your face."

The girl stopped chewing on Kanda's hand and started tugging Kanda's hair, which was out of its usual ponytail for once. She didn't pull too hard, but it was enough for Kanda to notice. "What, you want to play with my hair too?"

A broad grin lit up the merpup's face, which was hardly cute. In fact, it looked more satanic than cute.**1** Still, Kanda couldn't say no as she continued to tug lightly at his hair. She then grabbed a fistful of hair and held it over her head like a wig. Again, she grinned broadly up at her father.

"Isn't that cute?" Lavi laughed. "She wants to be like her father!"

"What are we naming them?" Kanda asked, changing the subject away from her looks. If he hadn't changed the subject, he probably would have said something stupid about how she _wasn't_ all that cute.

Lavi looked thoughtful a moment. "How about... Bruhilda?"

Kanda choked. "Hell no."

"Language."

"Sorry."

Lavi thought again. "How about... Ariel?" Kanda raised an eyebrow at him. "Sorry. Long story."

"It would help if we knew what they'd look like," Kanda commented.

"Oh, that's easy." Lavi hugged the twins. "These two will have black hair, but it'll be really messy. They're gonna have green eyes and they'll be super handsome." The twins grinned at each other, as if to brag about how awesome they'd be in the future.

"And this one," Lavi continued, taking the girl and seating her between the twins in his lap, "will have your eyes and hair color, but her hair'll be a little wavy. She'll have a unique beauty about her that'll make all the men in the kingdom fall in love with her at first sight."

"And you can get all this by just looking?" Kanda asked doubtfully.

"Mother's instinct," Lavi replied, hugging their daughter. The girl rubbed her cheek against Lavi's, then struggled to escape the embrace. Lavi released her, and she shot like a bullet to Kanda.

"Yuuki," Kanda muttered.

"Yuuki?"

"That was my mother's name," Kanda said, hugging his daughter close to him. Unlike with Lavi, the girl didn't struggle. "From what you said, she's going to look a lot like my mother."**2**

"All right, we'll name her Yuuki," Lavi said with a nod. He looked down at the twins, who were starting to chew on his fingers impatiently again. "Let's see... These two'll be identical twins, so... I know! Darien and Darius!"

"That's going to be a pain in the ass to remember."

"Language," Lavi reminded him yet again, "and it won't be hard. You'll just have to get used to it."

A hand slipped into the water and waved. Lavi checked to see who it was and what they wanted. A few seconds later, someone dumped a bucket of live fish into the pool, much to the children's delight and Kanda's horror.

Yuuki struggled out of Kanda's grasp and started chasing the fish now swimming for their lives. Yuuki snatched the biggest one in a matter of seconds and struggled to bring the fish back to Kanda.

"Take the fish," Lavi said, taking the two smaller fish the twins brought to him.

"Why?"

"Because it's a present from your daughter."

"But I don't like fish."

"Take the damn fish," Lavi growled. When Kanda didn't move to take the fish, he added, "If she were to bring you a macaroni portrait, you'd take it, wouldn't you?"

"Yeah."

"Then take the fish!"

Kanda did as Lavi said and held the still struggling fish. "Now what?"

"Eat it!"

Kanda's eyes widened. "I hate fish! They're gross!"

"If you don't eat it, she'll think you don't love her." Lavi nodded briefly to the now disappointed merpup before taking a big bite of the fish the twins brought him.

Kanda decided to bite the bullet before Lavi made him feel any guiltier. He closed his eyes, took a bigger bite than he'd meant to of the fish, then handed it back to his daughter. He chewed, then swallowed. "I'm not sure if I should be disgusted that I ate a live fish or if I should be shocked that it tasted good."

"You're a merman. Fish is our primary diet," Lavi explained. "If you didn't like fish, you'd be in big trouble."

"But I'm human."

"Not right now."

Kanda rolled his eyes. "Whatever. How long until they look human?"

"About... a year? It depends on how strong they are and how good their diets are. If it's anything like their hatching, though, they could look human sooner. Maybe seven months!" Lavi laughed, as if that was unlikely. "Anyway, I vote we have a big sleepover in the pool tonight. You in?"

* * *

**1** **When we were writing, Shim shouted "devil" when I got to the part about her smile.**_ FREAKY!_

**2** _Awww... Fangirl moment..._

**Next chapter will be longer. We swear.**

_Nothing much to say today._

**Well, tell us what you think! See you! Oh, and if you're confused by the Omake being way after this chapter takes place, it's because next chapter's gonna be a time skip to even later. This is sort of an in-between.

* * *

**

**Omake IV: Their First Words...**

The kids were now one year old, but they looked about three. They'd shed their scales a few months before—about seven after their hatching—and were now trying to walk in human form, without any luck. The twins were having issues standing up while Yuuki kept losing her balance after standing and fell on her bum.

"Maybe they're not old enough yet," Lavi whispered to Kanda. "We should wait a little longer."

"They look like they're three," Kanda replied. "Three-year-olds can walk."

"Yeah, but..." Lavi watched his children with worry in his eyes. "They're only a year old..."

Yuuki stood again. She took one step, then fell again. "Shit," she said.

Lavi's eye widened and he turned on his husband. "Yuu..."

"I haven't cussed since they hatched!"

"They heard you through the shell."

"They can do that?"

Lavi bopped his husband on the head. "Stupid head."

"How was I supposed to know they'd remember—" Something tugged Kanda's jacket. Kanda looked down and stared. Yuuki was staring up at him with her deep blue eyes. "Dad-dy," she said a little awkwardly.

Kanda pulled her little hands off him and took a few steps back experimentally. The girl reached out with her tiny hands and wobbled over to him to clutch at his shirt again. "Dad-dy," she repeated.

This time, Kanda scooped her up and hugged her and kissed her cheek. "She can walk! She can talk!" he said, more proud than any parent could be. "You're just so smart!" He gave his daughter an Eskimo kiss.

"Yuu! Yuu! Darien and Darius!"

Kanda looked up just in time to see the two stand, take a step, then fall on their asses like every other attempt. This time, though, the twins looked at each other and said loudly in unison, "Damn!"

Lavi twitched, then turned to his husband. "Yuu..."


	5. Baron Watson von Camberell

"Don't chew with your mouth open, Darius. You too, Darien," Lavi scolded.

"But we don't wanna!" the twins said in unison.

"Do what your mother says," Kanda said. He flipped the newspaper over and scanned for anything interesting. As always, nothing interesting was happening. The last interesting thing the newspaper reported was he and Lavi having kids two years earlier and how they look and act much older than they are. Since then, many rumors had been flying about how that was possible, the most popular being something similar to _Thumbelina_. At least everyone knew their kids really were their kids.

"Your Majesty," Krory said, interrupting his king's contemplation, "a letter has arrived from the Baron Camberell of Sarandair."

Kanda took the envelope from his advisor and quickly read through its contents. "Shit."

"Yuu! What did I tell you—"

Kanda shoved the letter into Lavi's hands. "My mother's cousin's aunt's uncle's niece's grandson is coming to meet my wife."

Lavi blinked. "So?"

"So he's expecting a woman with kids who _look_ two years old, not four, and definitely not ones smarter than an eight year old."

"Then we'll just have to correct him," Lavi said, before admonishing Darius and Darien for chewing with their mouths open again.

"There's no correcting him," Kanda replied. "He's homophobic."

"Homo-what-now?" asked Yuuki.

"It means he doesn't like people like your mommy and daddy," Lavi explained.

"Oh, so he doesn't like guys having sex."

Lavi choked down a laugh as Kanda choked on his tea. "Yes, that's exactly it, Yuuki."

"What have you been teaching them?!" Kanda demanded.

"Everything they need to survive," Lavi replied.

Yuuki grinned, sensing an opportunity. "Hey Daddy, can I take up sword lessons? Mommy can't teach me sword fighting, and I might need that to survive."

"Yuuki, this isn't the time to worry about that. You're not old enough."

Yuuki pouted. "But I might need it. What'll I do to protect myself from all the mean boys out there?"

"We start next week."

Lavi rolled his eyes. Their daughter had him wrapped around her little finger. "So what will we do about Baron Camberell? When does he come?"

"It says in the letter sometime next week."

"When did he send that letter?"

"Sometime last... week... shit." Kanda stood. "We have to get things ready. He planned this." Kanda turned, then stopped. "Shit, what are we going to do about you and the kids?"

Lavi thought a moment, then said, "I'll pretend to be their nanny or bodyguard or something. You can say their mother is... terribly ill and highly contagious. That way, there's no reason for the kids or him to see 'her'."

"But you're our mommy," Darius pointed out. "Why do you have to pretend you're our nanny?"

"Is this some kind of role-play?" Darien asked, frowning. "You're not gonna wear a dress again, are you?"

Kanda spun on his heel and stared at the kids. How did they know about that little... 'game' he and Lavi had played once. "Lavi, what have you been telling the children?"

"They like hearing stories about us together," Lavi replied coolly. "Don't worry, I don't go into too much detail."

"Lavi, I swear I'll stab you for that," Kanda said.

"I'll be looking forward to it," Lavi said with a wink. He knew that wasn't what Kanda meant, but it was always fun to mess with him.

"Auntie!" Yuuki shouted to Miranda. "They're talking in innuendoes again!"

The maid glared at the two adults. "Need I remind you your children are in the room?" she said with a glare. "Get ready for the baron's arrival. You said yourself he'd be here today."

"Yes, ma'am," Lavi and Kanda said in unison.

* * *

Lavi stood behind the kids, occasionally moving to fuss over the bow on Yuuki's dress or attempt to smooth the twins' unruly hair. They were waiting for Kanda to finish speaking with the baron and bring him to the parlor, where they'd be introduced. Lavi reminded his children one more time to call him "Nanny" or just plain "Lavi" while the baron was around just before the door opened, revealing an irritated-looking Kanda and a portly man next to him.

The beer-bellied baron**1** looked at each of the children, then at Lavi. "And you are?"

"I'm Lavi, the children's nanny and tutor. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Where's their mother?" the baron asked.

"She's indisposed right now. She's terribly ill and doesn't want to risk her children getting sick as well."

The baron raised and eyebrow. "Really? That's terrible. What does she have?"

Lavi said the first thing that came to mind. "Tuberculosis."

Kanda slapped his forehead, but the baron missed that reaction. "How horrible! How much time does she have left?"

"She might pull through, actually," Lavi said brightly. "It's a mild case, but still contagious and all, so she can't see anyone."

The baron nodded, then knelt down to get a better look at the kids. "So what are your names?"

Darien and Darius looked at each other and grinned. "I'm Darien," Darius said while Darien said, "I'm Darius."

Lavi shook his head. "The one who said he was Darien is Darius and the one claiming to be Darius is Darien," he corrected. "They'll do that from time to time. Don't let them confuse you."

The baron frowned, then pulled a rag from his bag. He touched it with his thumb, then stamped the ink he'd gotten on his thumb on to Darien's forehead. "There, now I can tell them apart."

Lavi was appalled and tried to rub off the ink, but it had stained his son's skin. Kanda was just plain angry. He grabbed the baron by the arm and tugged him back onto his feet.

"Don't _ever_ touch my children again," he growled dangerously. "Understand? _Never_ touch them."

"My apologies," Baron Camberell said with a bow. "I didn't mean to cause offense."

"Well, you have," Kanda replied before storming out of the room. As he passed by, Yuuki lifted up her arms and Kanda scooped her up and carried her out of the room as well.

"That could have gone better," Lavi commented.

The baron held out a hand for the redhead. "I am Baron Watson von Camberell**2**." Lavi allowed the baron take his hand and kiss it lightly. The baron smiled. Lavi had just failed his first test. No man would ever allow himself to be treated as a woman except those who enjoy another man's company.

"_I don't like the look on that frog's face,_" Darius commented to his brother in French.

"_I think he looks more like a fly than a frog,_" Darien replied back.

"_Maybe he'll eat himself_."

"_He has enough meat on him for that._"

The twins grinned at each other. "_Shall we?_" They took each other's arms and marched from the room, grinning up a storm. They were up to something, and Lavi knew it.

"_If I see you doing anything, you'll be washing your own clothes for a week!_" Lavi threatened.

"My, you all speak French?"

Lavi turned back to the baron. "Only the twins speak French. My daugh—Yuuki speaks Japanese with her father. I can speak a little bit of both."

The baron scrutinized Lavi, even going so far as to walk around him to see _all_ of him. Lavi would be perfect for what he had in mind. He noticed Lavi was started to fidget under his gaze, so the baron stopped looking and asked, "Are you married?"

Lavi slipped his wedding ring off his finger and into his pocket without the baron seeing. "No. If I was, I wouldn't be able to be their nanny."

Baron Camberell nodded, smiling. He reached and touched Lavi's hair. "You should grow your hair out." He ran his fingers through on of the longer parts and then turned to leave and be shown to his room by a maid.

The redhead stood calmly until the baron had left. Once he was gone, Lavi slipped his ring back on and shot down the halls, searching for his husband. He found him in the library.

"Yuu!"

Kanda opened his arms and held Lavi close to his chest. "What's wrong? You're upset." He ran his fingers through Lavi's hair, much the way the baron had just before.

"That baron creeps me out. There's something not right about him." Lavi then admitted, "He... he frightens me."

"What did he do to you?" Lavi could hear the anger hidden behind the false calmness.

"He circled around me like a shark eyeing prey and touched my hair and told me I should grow it out," he blurted out. "Yuu, I don't think I can be near him anymore."

Kanda gave Lavi an extra big squeeze. "Don't worry. You'll only have to put up with him for a week, and I'll protect you that whole time."

"I think you should just stab him," Yuuki said from the floor a few feet away. She closed her "Little Mermaid" picture book. "If he's gonna cause Mommy problems, you should do something, Daddy."

"Yuuki," Kanda said with a sigh, "I can't murder him. The people would panic and we'd be in a lot of danger."

Lavi pulled out of Kanda's hug and wiped the small pearly tears from his eyes. "It's fine, Yuuki. Your father will protect me." He faked a shaky smile. "Anyway, it's almost time for supper. We shouldn't be late. Our guest might wonder where we are." He paused, then added. "I can't go, though. I'm the nanny..."

"Fuck that," Kanda said, taking Lavi's hand.

Lavi pulled away. "Yuu, I can't. What will the baron think?"

"You'll sit with the children like you always do, or I'll tie you to the chair, so help me." Kanda smiled, or tried to. "I need you there too. I can't stand this guy. I've hated since we were both little."

"If Yuu insists," Lavi said, leaning his head briefly on his husband's shoulder.

* * *

After dinner, Lavi sat in Kanda's room while the king fumed and wrung his bed sheets in anger.

"I can't believe him! Did you see that? He was undressing you with his eyes the whole time! And when you stood up to leave, he was staring at your ass, the bastard!" He wrung his sheets ever harder and Lavi heard a ripping sound.

"Yuu, don't take your anger out on the furniture."

"Then I'll take it out on him!" Kanda glanced around his torn up room for his sword. "Where's Mugen?"

"You can't kill him, remember? You already told Yuuki you wouldn't."

"Oh, I won't kill him," Kanda said darkly. "I'll just chop his dick off. Then gouge his eyes out. Then cut out his tongue."

"Yuu, you're scaring me," Lavi said nervously. This was a side of Kanda he had been blessed not to see up until now.

Kanda flopped onto the bed next to Lavi and laid his head in his lap. "I'm sorry, Lavi. It just ticks me off that he'd even _think_ to look at you. The guy's homophobic."

"I think he's in denial," Lavi said, playing with Kanda's hair. "Some Shimmers get like that under the sea, too."

"Were you like that?"

Lavi blushed. "I was for a little bit... I got over it pretty quickly."

Kanda sat up suddenly. "That just makes it worse!" he shouted. Lavi couldn't quite follow the king's train of thought until he said, "The fact he's in denial and yet _still_ wants to... to... I don't even want to think about what he wants to do to you!"

The redhead pulled his husband back into his lap. "Yuu, deep breaths. It's all right."

"I want you to stay in my room tonight," Kanda said abruptly.

"What?"

"I want you to stay in my room tonight," Kanda repeated, more slowly this time. "I... I want to hold you and make sure you're still mine."

"If you think a guy like that would turn me on—"

"No, I think a guy like that would sneak into your room and try to rape you." Kanda sat up and pulled Lavi against his chest. "I don't want to lose you."

Lavi shifted to look up in Kanda's dark eyes. "Yuu, I gave you my apple. You're the only one for me, and I for you." He reached up a hand and pulled Kanda's face closer. "We're only for each other. That's what an apple means. It means I'm yours alone." He brushed his lips against Kanda's. "Forever and ever."**3

* * *

**

**1 Whee! Try saying that ten times fats!**_ (Tries and fails) Dang it!_

**2** **Yes, lame name.**

**3 **_IMAGES! IMAGES!!!!!!_ _SMEXY IMAGES!!!!!_ **As you can tell, they're now doing "stuff." Take gutter, insert mind. Have a nice day.**

_Candy._

**Yes. We went to a parade and got lots of it. That's why you were awarded with a few gutter moments.**

_Eye candy and Food Candy! Woohoo!_

**Thanks for reading! See you next time!

* * *

**

**Omake V: Set Up**

Darien and Darius were in their room, plotting what they would do to the baron the next night, once he was comfortable and sure they wouldn't torture him in any way, shape, or form.

"So, lizards in the bath?" Darius suggested.

"Great! Frogs in the bed!" Darien added.

Darius grinned evilly as he reached in his pocket and pulled out some blue pills. "I got some of Daddy's energy boosters too, so we can put it in his drink!"

"Keep him up all night!" Darien said, grinning. "I love your mind."

"I love _your_ mind, brother," Darius said, grinning too.

They'd been poking around their father's room once and found a container of the blue pills. Their father had turned bright red and snatched them away and wouldn't explain what the pills were for. Later, they'd asked their mother, who simply said they were "energy boosters" for when their father was tired at night. Far as they were concerned, they were just caffeine pills.

"Let's put slugs in his slippers too."

"And dog poo in his pillow."

They grinned evilly. This was going to be fun.


	6. Betrayal

_Knock, knock_.

"Go away," Kanda mumbled, pulling the covers more tightly around him and his husband. "It's too early."

The knocking didn't stop. "Go away," he grumbled again as Lavi snuggled against his chest.

"Your Majesty, may I come in?"

Kanda shot up in bed. "No! Go away!" he shouted, shaking Lavi.

The redhead opened his eye lazily and looked up at Kanda. Before he could speak, Kanda put a finger over his lips. "What do you want, Camberell?" he called to the door, ignoring titles in his anger. "It's too God damn early to deal with you."

"What are you talking about? It's seven in the morning!"

"That's too God damn early! Come back in three hours! I might talk to you then."

Despite Kanda's harsh words, the baron let himself in, but Lavi had dived under the bed just as the doorknob turned. "Come now, it's hardly early. How do you get anything done if you sleep so late?"

"I get things done just fine," Kanda replied in a low growl. "Out."

"A proper king wakes with the sun."

"A proper baron wouldn't barge in on his king."

"Touché," Camberell replied. "Now, I'd much prefer to speak with you... with your clothes on, please," he added, realizing Kanda was naked.

The king's only reply was that "It's summer" and pulled his robe on.

It was then that Krory and Miranda entered. They bowed quickly to both Kanda and Camberell and set to work being distractions. Krory started explaining why it was never a good idea to barge into Kanda's room, especially while he was asleep. Miranda, while Camberell was distracted, made the bed and kicked Lavi's clothes underneath for him. Apparently, Camberell could be fooled, but not the maid.

"So what did you need?" Kanda asked once the two were finished with their "duties."

"I wanted to ask you about your children's nanny."

"What about Lavi?" Kanda growled.

"It's strange that a king would call his servant by his first name."

Kanda mentally hit himself for his slip up. "He doesn't have a last name."

"You hired someone without a family name?"

"Yes," he replied simply. "Now what is it that you wanted?"

The baron cleared his throat. "I don't think someone like Lavi is... qualified... to handle your children, especially since you seem to know nothing about him. I'd be more than willing to take him off your hands—"

"No," Kanda replied flatly. "My children love their nanny. I wouldn't want to hurt them."

"Especially when their mother's so ill," the baron agreed. "I can see what you mean."

"Now if that's everything, please leave."

The baron thought for a moment. "If you insist on keeping him as their nanny, I must insist you allow me to teach him proper child rearing and make sure he has the knowledge he needs to give them later in life."

Kanda muttered under his breath, "You just want to have sex with him, you sick—"

"Did you say something, Your Majesty?"

"Just that I'd think about it," Kanda replied. "Please leave."

Once the baron had shut the door behind him, Lavi crawled out from under the bed, fully clothed. "Well that was an adventure," he commented.

Kanda glared at the door.

"Yuu, you can't murder him."

"I can and will."

Lavi wrapped his arms around Kanda from behind and laid his head on his shoulder. "I know you can, but you shouldn't."

Kanda shrugged out of Lavi's grip and slammed his fist into the wall. "I won't let him have you!" He whipped around and kissed Lavi roughly on the lips.

"Yuu, I don't want to do this while you're angry," Lavi whispered.

"Then just let me hold you," Kanda whispered, his anger instantly dissipated by Lavi's words. He sat down in his armchair and pulled Lavi into his lap. "Please, Lavi... I don't want to lose you."

"You never will," Lavi promised, laying his head against Kanda's shoulder as the other man stroked his hair.**1

* * *

**

The baron had all the proof he needed. If the king wouldn't let go of the children's nanny, he'd just take the nanny by force. _It should be easy to make him come with me_.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door, which he quickly answered. _So the nanny comes to me,_ he thought smugly.

"Just came to check for traps," Lavi said brightly with Miranda right beside him.

"Traps?" Camberell repeated. "What traps?"

"The twins now know where you sleep," Miranda explained, smoothing her skirt. "They'll have hidden little... surprises for you. Lavi, could you check the bathroom while I check the bed?"

Lavi nodded and said, "Yes ma'am," and disappeared into the bathroom. Miranda, meanwhile, ripped the sheets off the bed, revealing four big ugly frogs. Sighing, she dumped the blue-tinted water in the nearby pitcher and placed the creatures inside. Lavi came out with a lizard in hand.

"That it?" Lavi asked, surprised. "I thought they'd do a lot more than just that."

"Did you check the slippers?" Miranda asked.

"A dead mouse," Lavi replied. "I threw it out the window."

"Good." Miranda smiled sweetly at the baron. "The key to the liquor cabinet there is in the drawer on the top shelf of the closet. Just pull it out if you'd like some wine or whiskey or the sort."

Camberell smiled at Lavi. "Care for a drink?"

"I don't drink," Lavi lied smoothly. "It's a bad example for the children." With that, he walked out the room with Miranda.

"Good night," Miranda said, curtsying to Lavi. "Thank you for helping me find all their pranks."

Lavi waved off her thanks. "Get some sleep, Miranda. You look exhausted. I'll tuck the kids in."

"You're a saint, Your Highness."

Again, Lavi waved off her thanks. He went and tucked Yuuki in first, making sure to check for the monster under her bed. He kissed her on the forehead and her plush horse goodnight and left to tuck the twins in. He'd purposely left those two for second.

"Okay, what else did you put in the room?" Lavi asked suspiciously. There hadn't been enough tricks. No greased toilet seats, no crap on the pillows, no pins in his shirt collar... The usual pranks weren't there. "What are you two up to?"

"Did you find the lizard in the bath?" Darien asked. Lavi always caught their tricks, so they were better off just telling him after he gave up. It was like a game to them, to see if they could outsmart their mother and his "mother's instincts."

"Yes."

"The mouse in his slippers?" Darius asked.

"Yes."

"The frogs?"

"Miranda found those. Too easy. You can do better."

"The water?"

"Of course."

"His drinks?"

Lavi froze. "Drinks? What drinks? You don't mean the ones in the locked cabinet!"

The twins looked at each other, then said in unison, "Key's in the drawer on the top shelf in the closet. All we need's a chair and we're set."

"What did you _do_ to the drinks in the cabinet?"

"We put daddy's energy boosters in it," they both said proudly. They'd actually done it! They'd outsmarted their mother!

They didn't have time to taunt Lavi about it, however. He was already out the door and running down the hallway to fix his mistake. Too bad he was too late.

Camberell already had drained half a bottle of whiskey and was pouring himself another shot. It was amazing he wasn't too drunk to realize Lavi had come in. "Couldn't stay away?" he asked flirtatiously.

"J-just came to fix something," Lavi panted. "You didn't drink all that, did you?"

He knew the answer even before the baron said anything. "Of course I drank it all. Drinking's my passion! It's my life!" He paused and raised an eyebrow at Lavi. "Why do you ask?"

"Er... the twins... put something in the drinks," Lavi said awkwardly. "Let's just say... um..." He didn't know how to put it. "I'll take those bottles and... uh... have new ones brought up."

"That's not the only thing that can be brought up," the baron said.

"I-I'm going to blame the whiskey for that comment and leave now," Lavi said nervously. He could already tell those pills were taking effect.

The baron, however, had different ideas. "Why don't you stay a little bit?"

"B-because I need to be somewhere," Lavi replied, turning to leave.

Camberell was the fastest drunk Lavi had ever seen. The baron rushed in front of Lavi and shut and locked the door. "Oh? It'll only take a few minutes."

Lavi swallowed hard. "S-sorry," he stuttered, "I don't do that."

"Ah, but you do," the baron replied.

Lavi backed away as the baron approach. His leg bumped the bed. "W-what makes you think that?"

"All the signs are there," Camberell replied. He placed his hands on Lavi's hips. "Don't pretend you don't want me. I can show you a good time." He held Lavi still as he ground against his hips.**2**

Lavi tried to pull away, but the damned bed was behind him. In his attempt to escape, he ended up falling backward. "J-just leave me alone!"

The baron bent over and licked Lavi's collarbone. "I can replace whoever it is you're stuck on," he whispered. "You're obviously married."

Lavi didn't have to ask how he knew. He'd forgotten to take his ring off again when he came to fix the mistake with drinks, and he knew Camberell knew, since the baron was touching the ring.

"I can make you happy," the baron offered. He held both hands firmly above Lavi's head and ran his other hand down Lavi's thigh. "Happier than whoever let you hide your marriage."

"L-let me go!" Lavi shouted. He tried to kick, but the heavy man was holding his legs down with his knees. It only ended up helping the fatso settle between his legs.

"Eager, aren't we?"

"Hell no!" Lavi struggled some more, but it seemed the baron was experienced with unwilling lovers. "Get off me! Now!"

The baron leaned down and started nibbling Lavi's ear. "Someone help!" he shouted. His eyes were watering with tears, but he held them back firmly. The last thing he needed now was for the baron to see those pearls. "Someone! Anyone! Kan—"

The baron forced his lips over Lavi's, silencing the cries for help. Lavi again tried to struggle, but Camberell held firm. The free hand started undressing Lavi despite his protests.

"P-please stop!" Lavi begged when Camberell's mouth left his. "Please!"

Camberell ignored Lavi and let his hand slip into Lavi's unbuttoned pants.

The door banged open, and Kanda burst in, sword drawn. To Lavi, his husband was an angel here to save him, but to Camberell, he was an intruder and there to ruin his fun.

"Excuse me, we're busy," the baron said, not releasing Lavi.

"Yuu!" Lavi cried, not caring about their lie now. The tears spilled over at last, but the baron didn't notice. "Yuu, it's not what you think—"

"What, he wasn't about to rape you?" Despite Kanda's calm voice, Lavi knew he was furious and about to snap.

"It's not rape if he enjoys it," Camberell pointed out.

Kanda shoved the baron away from Lavi and pulled the redhead protectively behind him. "If you ever touch him again..." He left the threat unfinished. There was no need to give his threat voice. The baron would know well enough what he meant to do, and Kanda wanted to get Lavi out of there as soon as he could.

"Why are you trying to protect him? He's a servant! A lowly commoner! I'm his superior!"

"With logic like that, no wonder everyone hates you," Kanda said, pushing Lavi out the door behind him before slamming it shut behind him. The door fell off its hinges, but Kanda didn't care. The door could remain stuck for all he cared. "Come on," he said roughly as he led Lavi back to his room.

They were silent the whole way back. Kanda didn't touch Lavi—he was too afraid to. If he touched him, he feared that Lavi would fall to pieces and look at him the same way he'd looked at the baron.

Lavi, on the other hand, was scared Kanda was mad at _him_ for letting it go that far. Granted, he hadn't had much choice in the matter, but he wasn't sure if Kanda knew that.

They reached Kanda's room. At last, the silence was too much for Lavi, and the merman broke down. "Yuu, I'm sorry," he sobbed, pearls hitting the ground.

Kanda reached out, but pulled his hands back. "It's not your fault, Lavi. That bastard was the one who—"

"I'm dirty," Lavi whispered. "I feel so dirty. His hands were all over me. I can still feel them touching me." He'd betrayed Kanda. In Lavi's mind, he'd betrayed the one person he'd loved, the one person he'd promised himself to for all eternity. "I can understand why you don't want to touch me. I'm—"

Kanda held Lavi's face with both hands so he couldn't turn away. "Lavi, what are you talking about?"

Lavi sniffled. "I betrayed you... My apple meant I'd never lie with anyone else and—"

"You didn't do anything wrong," Kanda said forcefully yet gently at the same time.

"But... back home, that would be—"

"I don't care what it would be back home," Kanda said. "Your people are more for love and all that. Here, there are jerks like the baron who just like fucking anyone they can. People like him are sick and twisted people who enjoy causing pain to others. It was not your fault."

"Yuu..."

"Don't 'Yuu' me," Kanda said, but the smile on his face showed he was joking. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up and in bed."

He led Lavi to the bathroom, where he drew a bath and poured some lavender salts and left to get a towel and give Lavi his privacy. When he came back, Lavi had already settled in the bath.

Kanda sat in a chair next to the bath to comfort Lavi whenever he started crying. When it was time, Kanda helped Lavi out and wrapped the towel around him and led him to bed.

"Yuu," Lavi started sleepily as Kanda wrapped him in the sheet.

"I'll be here for you," Kanda whispered as he lay on top of the sheet next to Lavi.

The redhead yawned. "Thank you," he said, drifting off in Kanda's arms. "I love you..."

"You're my world, Lavi," Kanda whispered, running his fingers through Lavi's wet hair. "I'd do anything for you."

He wasn't sure if Lavi heard, as he was already fast asleep. After about an hour, Kanda tiptoed to the door and said to Toma and Moore, "One of you two keep an eye on the baron. Don't let him breathe without you knowing it."

"Understood."

* * *

**1**_ Be still, my heart!_** Shim's in Romance mode, if you can't tell.**

**2 Here's your Yaoi moment. Yes, we're mean.**_ It's with the wrong people!_

_Poor Lavi!_

**We abuse our characters... but no one wants to read boring, untortured stuff!**

_Just wait until our next story..._

**This ones not done yet, so don't worry. We can get another chapter easy. Anywho, enjoy the Omake!

* * *

**

**Omake VI: Holy Sea Cows!**

Cross floated in amazement as he watched Lenalee cradle her latest hatched litter of seven. All the eggs had hatched again, which no one had expected.

He turned to the newly crowned Allen and asked, "How many is that now?"

"After our last litter of six, nineteen."

After Lenalee's first litter of two, she'd had four more eggs in a second, then an amazing six, which was rare, but not unheard of. Seven, on the other hand, was a first, especially with all of them hatching.

A tear formed in Cross's eye at the thought, which he brushed away. "I'm so proud of you two," he whispered.

"What was that?" Allen asked, surprised. His father was acting weird. He hadn't even been disappointed when two of their last litter became Shimmers. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm just a proud grandfather," Cross sniffled. He pulled his son into a hug. "I love you!"

"Okay, who are you and what have you done with my father?"

Lenalee smiled at the heartwarming scene. "Just let him hug you a bit more. It's better than getting shot at, right?"

"I guess so," Allen muttered, but changed his mind when he heard Cross's next statement:

"If all human women are so good with eggs, we should bring more down!"

Allen smacked Cross and kicked him out of the nursery.


	7. Justice

Roger was practically skipping as he entered the castle. He had a perfect tan and was carrying all sorts of presents for Lavi, Kanda, and their kids. He even had a present for his friend with benefits, Toma.

"So, what'd I miss?" he asked, handing one of the maids his straw hat.

The maid turned a little pale. "The baron... I mean, Baron Camberell of Sarandair... He..." She glanced around quickly before whispering, "He tried to rape Lavi."

There was a delayed reaction, then, "WHAT?!"

"Shh!" the maid hissed. "It happened last night and is still a sore subject! From what I've heard, Lavi missed one of the twins' pranks and went back to fix it. When he did, the baron jumped him." She glanced around again, then added, "His Majesty's furious and has already decided what the baron's punishment will be."

"Death?" Roger asked hopefully.

"I'm not sure," the maid replied. "He's in the throne room now, I believe. He had the baron arrested this morning and thrown in the dungeon for attempted sexual assault on a member of the royal family. No matter what his punishment is, I don't think he's going to get out of this unharmed."

"Not if I have anything to say about it!" Roger said angrily. He stormed away from the maid and to the throne room. Link, the captain of the guard, didn't even attempt to stop him. He knew why Roger was there and so angry.

"Your Majesty!" Roger shouted from across the room. He paused, a little confused that he didn't see Lavi anywhere, then bowed swiftly to Kanda. "I've heard what happened. Where is that bastard baron so I can kill him?"

"I'm afraid we can't kill him," Kanda admitted, his voice grating with irritation. "I've looked through every law, even the ancient ones that aren't used much anymore. Without him having actually _raped_ Lavi, we can't sentence him to death. The most I can do is this." He held out the law book for Roger to read.

Roger ground his teeth in irritation. Taking the book, he read the record quickly, then let out an evil laugh. "Can I be the one to do it? I'll make sure he chokes on that dick, since he can't seem to keep it in his pants."

Kanda smirked. It was obvious he shared his guard's disdain for the man. "I'll cut his dick off, you can feed it to him," he decided.

* * *

Lavi groaned in his sleep. He'd had the worst nightmare ever. He'd dreamt that Baron Camberell had tried and succeeded to Shine with him and that Kanda hated him forever because of it. Lavi felt the small pearls at the edges of his eyes and tried to snuggle closer to Kanda to know everything was all right and would be completely back to normal soon.

But Kanda wasn't in bed.

Lavi sat up and stared around. Kanda was nowhere to be found. "Yuu?" he called softly. Something felt wrong. Horribly wrong. "Yuu? Where are you?"

The door creaked open and Lavi rushed to wrap the sheets around him like a protective barrier. He relaxed a little when he saw it was Miranda accompanied by Moore.

"How are you feeling, Lavi?" Miranda asked quietly.

"B-better than yesterday," Lavi replied, knowing what she meant. Most of the castle had probably heard of the incident by now. "Where's Yuu?"

"His Majesty is in the throne room," Moore answered. "He's administering justice upon Baron Camberell."

Lavi felt the color drain from his face at the sound of the name. "I-is he really? What's he going to do to him?"

"He has his heart set on castration. The question is whether or not to make him eat his dick when it's chopped off, sir," Moore said, blushing slightly.

Miranda laid some fresh clothes on the chair and curtseyed. "Kanda wanted you to come to the throne room when you woke up. He apologizes that he couldn't be here when you woke up."

Lavi nodded weakly. "Thank you for passing that along." When the two women left the room, he got out of bed and got dressed. His hands were shaking ever so slightly. Despite Kanda's reassurances, Lavi still felt like he'd betrayed his mate. He felt tears stinging his eyes. The redhead stubbornly wiped them away. Kanda still loved him, even with his mistakes.

"Lavi," Miranda said, knocking on the door, "if you're ready, I'll take you to Kanda."

* * *

"Surely you have the wrong idea," the baron said, mopping the sweat from his brow.

"Oh?" Kanda asked, arms crossed. "How so?"

The baron saw his mistake. "H-he was will—"

"He was _not_ willing," Kanda interrupted coldly. "Based on that alone, you can be charged with sexual assault and attempted rape. Also, as far as you knew, he was employed by me, the king, and your crime can also be counted as an attempt to undermine my authority!"

The baron's eyes widened. "That law's ancient and refers to people pumping information from your servants. It in no way—"

"There's a provision about _torture_," Kanda growled.

"I wasn't trying to get information out of him!" the baron blurted out.

The king frowned. "Very well, but you were still attempting to rape someone _I'm_ employing. That could still be considered directly disrespecting me. Not only that, he's my _husband!_"

Baron Camberell gaped at him. "What?"

Kanda rolled his eyes. "You really aren't well informed," he muttered. "Tell me, does _anyone_ read the newspaper in that backwater fief, Sarandair?"

"But your wife!"

"That was a lie," Kanda growled. "We assumed correctly that you wouldn't have heard anything of my being married. We also assumed you were homophobic, but it seemed you lied as well."

The baron narrowed his eyes. "You can't hold it against me if I had no idea he was a royal."

"But I _can_ hold it against you that you tried to rape him," Kanda replied calmly. "Last I checked, rape is still a crime, regardless of who the victim is." He glanced up as Lavi entered with Miranda.

The redhead froze at the sight of Camberell. Miranda had expected this, though, and gave Lavi a gentle push past the baron and to his husband. Kanda helped Lavi sit down, then turned back to the baron.

"As punishment for your crimes," he stated flatly, "you will be castrated and be forced to eat your dick after it's cut off."

"That's cruel," Lavi muttered.

Kanda raised an eyebrow at the redhead. "Well, I would've had him killed, but I couldn't find a loophole to allow it. This is cruel, but I think it'll get the message across."

Lavi chuckled quietly. "Yuu, it's still too cruel."

The king rolled his eyes, then said, "Fine. He'll be castrated, but he has to take his dick home with him in a jar."**1**

"That's fair."

Satisfied, the king nodded to Toma and Roger, who each grabbed one of Camberell's arms and dragged him out of the room. Once the baron was gone, Lavi laid his head on Kanda's shoulder.

"You okay?" Kanda asked, taking his husband's hand.

"I will be. I think. ...Eventually."

"You haven't betrayed me," Kanda whispered. He could tell Lavi was still hung up on that. "I still love you, and I know for a fact you still love me." He lifted Lavi's head from his shoulder and brushed the redhead's lips with his own. "That's what apples mean, right?"

There was a brief silence as Kanda held Lavi close to him, comforting him to the best of his ability. The silence ended with Lavi saying, "Yuu?"

"Hn?"

Lavi hesitated, as if unsure, then said, "Can we have some more kids?"

Kanda raised an eyebrow at Lavi. "I hope your not turning into Lenalee," he said seriously.

"Three more?" Lavi begged.

Kanda's lips brushed Lavi's once more. "If that's what you wish, my love."

* * *

**1 **_haha,( falls off of couch.)_** That was all me right there. XD**

**Well, that's it for this fic. Don't worry. There'll be another sequel. We like torturing Lavi and Kanda too much. :)**

_See you all next fic!_

**Omake VII: Interruptions...**

"Easy... easy..." Tyki muttered, attempting to drip the slightest amount of a special agent into his potion. Too much, and it would explode. Too little, and it would fizzle to nothing. He had to add the perfect amount, else the special something he was trying to create would amount to nothing.

Just as he was about to add the final ingredient, his shell phone (which was clipped to the sash around his waist) vibrated to signal a call. Tyki let out a yelp of surprise, dropping the entire vial into the potion.

_KABOOM!!!!!!!_

Tyki was thrown back against the wall. Cursing, he retrieved the shell phone and snapped, "What?" into it.

"Hey, Tyki-pon!" Roger said, grinning.

Tyki's anger dissipated instantly. "Roger! What can I do for you?"

"Lavi wanted to know if you could make three more eggs for him. Kanda said that you could hog me all to yourself for a month afterward if you do this for him."

Part of Tyki was pissed that Roger called to pass along a request from Lavi, but another part of him was reveling in the chance to have Roger all to himself again for a _whole month_.

And with those two conflicting parts in mind, Tyki said, "I'll do it!"


End file.
